The vortex of youtube

Since we opted not to have a TV about four years ago, Mole and Hedgehog have always accessed their screen time via our laptops.

We’ve found that by far the cheapest and easiest way to get their hit programme of choice is to use youtube. Mole and Hedgehog are now experts at finding youtube on our browser, scrolling through the list of options in the sidebar, before frantically clicking on Peppa Pig and whooping in excitement.

We allow them up to an hour of screen time a day anytime between 4-6pm, if they ask for it. This is conveniently at the end of Mole and Hedgehog’s day once we’re home from any outings, and they can be ‘plugged in’ while I make dinner. We rely more on the screen in Winter time I've noticed.

When we close the laptop lid after the hour is up, there are wails and protests, with faces down in the sofa and spread eagles on the floor. They soon give up to go upstairs and make some sort of mischief with the toys.

I am daily impressed with the power of the screen to hypnotise Mole and Hedgehog, and keep them sitting in one place without moving for a whole hour. They would easily watch it all day if we let them. There is literally nothing else that holds their attention like the screen does. Ditto our phones. They are already more savvy on the phones and the laptops than Mr M&H and I are ever likely to be. Hedgehog knows how to talk to Siri and turn on the torch light. It took us an hour to figure out how to turn the torch light off.

The thing about youtube and other online channels in general is the amount of home-made corrupted programmes that pop up, including unsuitable adverts, right when you thought they were safe watching a harmless episode of Twirlywoos. It is something that youtube does not seem to be sweeping for or checking, at least not often enough. This goes hand in hand with the modern problem of protecting our children from predators on the internet. For this reason I would not leave them alone in a room watching youtube for any length of time.

The other thing is their ability to watch the same sodding episode over and over again without getting the teensiest bit bored. Mole and Hedgehog are very good at this. They find one programme that they obsess over for weeks, and watch it hundreds of times, so that even if it starts out being a ‘high quality’ show that you enjoy, you can guarantee that you’ll be sick of it within a week. ‘The Little Mermaid’ was killed for me in this way. One particular episode of “Ruff Ruff, Tweet and Dave” was enough to go temporarily bonkers and drive me outside in January to jump on the trampoline by myself.

So what is it with the screen? Apparently today's toddler’s brains are being wired differently to any other generation in history, because of the increased presence of technology in their lives. They are also the most photographed generation in history, for the same reason.

The American Academy of Paediatrics (AAP) advises keeping all infants under 18 months away from the screen, and limiting screen time to one hour per day for 2-5 year olds. They also say that parents need to choose 'high quality' shows and games, and to join their children during screen time, rather than using the screen as an electronic babysitter. This, they say, is better for children’s development. We've all been guilty of using the ‘electronic babysitter’, no matter how idealistic we were in the beginning.

If we are meant to join them during the screen time, then we at least need to be watching something that we can enjoy too.

In this vein I have compiled my pick of children’s programmes and films which are enjoyable for both children AND adults, mainly because they can be read on several different levels. Here’s my guide for surviving them…

Programmes

Ben and Holly’s Little Kingdom

This is made by the same producers as Peppa Pig, with much of the same cast, but we like this one for the dry British humour, and of course, Nanny Plumb for her rebel streak, and the long suffering Wise Old Elf. Brian Blessed features in a few episodes and sings a great rendition of “Do the Dinosaur Stomp”, and Boris Johnson even turns up in one episode with his crop of blond hair. What’s not to like.

The Little Princess

A baby princess has daily adventures in her castle, surrounded by the King and Queen (aka mum and dad), and the servants, who behave like a regular family. The little princess’s thick Yorkshire accent is genius, and the very camp Julian Clary does the narration, which is a perfect combination.

Hey Duggee

A dog called Duggee runs a scouts group, and the children (Nori, Happy, Roly, Betty and Tag) earn badges. This is probably the funniest children’s programme I’ve seen, so far anyway. The caterpillar who coughs and causes a hurricane, the chickens who won’t lay eggs because they’re too busy watching daytime TV, and Arty the grumpy and artistic mouse who goes flying with balloons, are just some of the highlights.

Short films

We’re Going on a Bear Hunt

This is beautifully made with great animations, emotional and magical. My favourite bit is when they go into the deep dark wood. Exciting and scary at the same time, just how fairy tales are meant to be. This is not available on youtube, but the DVD is well worth investing in.

The Snowman

A classic from my childhood, therefore Mole and Hedgehog must watch it. Luckily they like it too. It still gives me a lump in my throat when the snowman runs with the boy and they take off.

Room on the Broom

A great animation with lots of attention to detail, the illustrations and the music give it lots of atmosphere, always a winner for me. Mole still finds the dragon a little too scary.

Longer films

Bambi

Made in 1942, this one is a classic which Mole and Hedgehog were recently introduced to. Hedgehog still makes loud demands for “Bambi Deer”. It has a majesty and a grace that is timeless, plus Thumper and Flower are very cute.

Shrek

Shrek was on my radar long before Mole and Hedgehog came along, so I’m pretty sure it was designed with adults in mind.

Toy Story

Ditto the above.

The Lion King

Epic landscapes, lots of adventure, makes me want to go to the Savannah, plus the great music makes this addictive. Some parts are still a bit traumatizing for Mole and Hedgehog, encounters with hyenas and such like, but it’s one that we don’t get tired of.

Labyrinth

Anytime with David Bowie in has to be a winner. We think this may still be a bit old for Mole and Hedgehog, the baby disappearing, the lightening and the goblins were a bit too much for them, but we’ve got it stashed away for next year.

Hopefully in time we can steer them towards our teenage favourites like Back to the Future, E.T. and Gremlins, but they may have their own ideas by then. In the meantime, there is always Aladdin (you can’t beat Robin Williams as the Genie), and we’ve got “The Muppet Christmas Carol” lined up for December.

The trick I’ve found is to steer them towards the programmes that you can stomach, and ignore the ones that you can’t. Then, when your secret favourites are in danger of being killed by over-watching, pretend that you’ve lost the laptop and take them outside.

Or if it’s Winter, do what I did last week and start clearing out the loft, they’ll be fascinated with that.