The problem with modern life

Apologies in advance if this one sounds a bit, well, ranty, but in the words of Elsa from Frozen, I just had to let it go…

Maybe it is current political events of the past few years, from Brexit, to Trump, to the Tories, the strangled NHS and the schools having to hold local fundraisers just to raise enough resources, or perhaps it is my own experience of soaring house prices and the struggle to get onto the property ladder, the London centric economy and a gradual realisation of the serious inequality in this country, but I’m coming to the conclusion that it is all Bullsh*t.

A friend of mine who lives in Hebden Bridge in Yorkshire, is about to purchase a piece of land with some friends, with a view to building her own house on it. She’s always been of a happy-go-lucky, nomadic bent, but for her the chance to build her own house is a dream come true, it will be so inspiring and exciting if she pulls it off, and it makes me think that Mole and Hedgehog’s generation offers some real imagination and hope to do things differently.

This has come into focus all the more for having children, and discovering the huge importance of family and community in helping to raise them. I’ve been reading ‘Sex at Dawn’ by Ryan and Jetha, which among other things talks about the way prehistoric (hunter gatherer) people organised themselves. This was before people settled and began farming, before the concept of property or personal wealth. It was essentially a matriarchal society with people living in tribes and sharing everything, simply because that was the most pragmatic way to survive. The women often breast fed each others babies, people had multiple partners, and all the adults cared for all the children as their own. Modern tribes around the world still follow this pattern of egalitarianism today.

Now I’m not suggesting that we return to that set up, but a lot about the communal way of living made sense to me. I doubt anyone from that time suffered from loneliness, or depression, or anxiety, and I’ll bet child rearing was a whole lot easier when it was shared, meaning mummy could partake in lots of other enjoyable and social tasks within the tribe, without getting isolated and exhausted at home. One of the problems with western capitalist societies, is that jobs which are about love rather than money don’t get the outward status or recognition they deserve, and you can end up feeling marginalised.

Fast forward 10,000 years to the millennial generation, and while we may have more stuff, and more comfort, most people are wage slaves, worse off than our parents were, working harder for less, and under more financial strain than ever. Mole and Hedgehog’s generation is expected to live to 100. What kind of future is coming to meet them?.

Well, short of an en-mass emigration to Canada or New Zealand, which is admittedly very tempting, and without waiting for the government to sort it out for us, which might be a long time coming, here are three immediate solutions, taken from the tribal example, which might help for happier living…

1. Communal childcare. Parents can come together in every neighbourhood, invite each other round for coffee, work out what days everyone works, and do a rota for each household to act as the street crèche for the day. This way parents can continue with their careers or whatever else they want to do, without having to fork out most of their incomes on commercialised childcare in order to do so. When I was growing up, my mum had a similar rota organised with her friends in the village, who all had kids my age. I would spend my preschool years being rotated from house to house on endless play dates, and I LOVED it. It was a brilliant system.

2. Go minimalist. Let go of attachment to stuff for its own sake. Simplicity in all things. If it’s not beautiful or useful, or hasn’t been used in a year, get rid of it. When you’re that busy with raising children, there is nothing worse than battling to keep a house and all the things in it clean and tidy too. It just becomes a burden, and you don’t need half of it anyway.

3. Get self-sufficient. Even if it’s only just a little bit, like keeping an allotment, getting solar panels, keeping chickens, making nettle wine, or baking bread. Anything practical that you can do that reconnects you to the land is good for the soul. It will make you slightly more free, and slightly less chained to the long line of services we increasingly pay for. We make our own wine, it works out about £1 a bottle, it tastes better than commercial wine, and the satisfaction of creating our own wine cellar is well worth all the effort of making it.

I could keep going but I’d be in danger of writing a book with my ramblings. Anyway, I would love to know what other people think about this, so please feel free to share your thoughts.

Now I must go, and say hello to my neighbours, as we may be exchanging babysitting favours soon.